HE IS RISEN!! Easter Sunday is one of my favorite days of the entire year. I love to focus on the love of Jesus and just stand in awe as we worship our Lord and Savior. I love to read the stories of the crucifixion and just reflect on the amazing, powerful, ever present love that our God, our creator had for us. Today as I reflected on the meaning of the day, and thought about the fact that Jesus died for my sins, that he loved us so much that He sent His only son to die a gruesome death, for me who is very imperfect, got me thinking about the love I will have for my children. It has been on my heart to write my babies a letter and today just seems like the perfect day to do it. So bare with me, and don't worry I haven't gone off the deep end...yet...its just been something on my heart to write. I understand if you think this is weird and don't want to read it.
My little promises,
As I sit here on the night before it turns 3 years to the day that we have been praying for you, I want to write you a letter to tell you a few things. I know you might already think this is weird, but as you may have guessed your Mom is not exactly normal. And jokes on you, you can't do anything about it, lol (laugh out loud, in case you totally don't know that means in 18 years.) We do not know if you will be a Nash Brooks, or a Sadie Rae, or both. We do not know, nor do we care, we just want you!
First, I start by telling you that I have loved you from the moment you became a glimmer of hope in my heart, but no matter how much we love you, we know that you are not ours but Gods. We are thankful that we will have the privilege to be your parents and have already prayed A LOT for you. I have prayed for you to be happy, healthy, funny, humble, but mostly kind hearted. I have prayed for you to have your daddy's eyes, lips,curly blonde hair, and of course my ears (you're welcome, I know you saw Dad's high school pictures) don't worry I also prayed you wouldn't have my nose. I have prayed that you be a dog lover, as well as have compassion and a love for all animals. But, mostly I have asked God to give you a heart for people, one like your Dad, who loves everyone and can find the good in all people, that you have empathy and annoying levels of positivity. I prayed that you will find the humor and laughter in all situations, but that you can also be a shoulder for your friends to lean on. I have prayed that you are giving, giving of time, possessions, and whatever else you are called to give. I have prayed so much more for you, but if I wrote it all down you would be like "OK, I get it."
Second, as much as I have prayed for you, I have prayed for us as parents. I want to tell you that I am sorry for any mistakes, short comings, and mess ups. I know that we are not perfect, and I have never expected to go into this parenting thing, thinking I knew what I was doing. I have prayed that God will guide us on how to love you, how to discipline you, and how to have grace when you have pushed me to my limits. I have prayed that as your parents we will know how to be, well, your parents. I pray that you will never know anything from us but the feeling of love, even when sometimes you think we are being mean. I pray that when you are puking down the hall way, I can remember these times of waiting for you and hug you a little tighter (and that God will keep my gag reflex in check, at least in front of you.) I also want you to know that I will try my hardest to make you special heart shaped cupcakes, and home made favors for your birthdays, but to be honest in reality it may be a little debbie, and a store bought favors.
I pray that as your parents, we will always put our marriage above you. That it will always be one of love and respect for each other, so that through our relationships with God and each other along with His guidance we can teach you what a happy Godly marriage looks like.
Third, I want you to know that there will be times we butt heads, that I am having a bad day, or that Dad or myself may just miss the mark, but that no matter what the situation we will be seeking God to know our next step. I want you to know that you will not get every pair of tennis shoes you want, or every new electronic, but that we will provide exactly what you need, you may feel like you are dying, but you will not. I also want you to know that when that kid at school hurts your feelings, or does something you don't like I will be your shoulder to cry on, but I will not take care of your battles, I will teach to be strong and independent, so that you can raise your family one day, even when that means it is hard to watch you cry. I will help you with your homework, but I will not give you the answers. I will push you on the swing, but when you get big enough you will have to learn to kick your own legs. During all these times you thought I was being mean and not helping, something you won't have known is it will be harder for me to watch then do it for you, but I had to teach you to be the man or woman God created you to be. I will always be there to talk, but I will always ask you if you talked with God first.
Nash and Sadie, we do not know you, nor do we know when we will know you, but what we do know is that God knows you, and we rest in that comfort. We know that you will be perfect in Gods eyes as well as ours, we love you and are thankful for the privilege of being your parents. No matter how old you get you will always be our little promises!
Love you to the moon and back,
Mom
Hebrews 11:11
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