HELLO, HELLO, HELLO... If I could make a blog echo for a grand entrance I would...but I can't so you just have to deal with my typing it (and giggling to myself while thinking about it).
Y'all I am tired, like tripped on the stairs at work today (4 times, luckily no one was counting), drank 3 LARGE cups of coffee, and walked in a circle 3 times around Target, because I couldn't' remember what I went for, tired. Working for a church during the super bowl known as Easter, makes you a tid bit sleepy. The weird thing is I am more tired today then any of last week. I think it's because last week my body knew the work had to be done, no excuses, and now my mind and body are like "ENOUGH! I NEED TO STOP FUNCTIONING." However, my lack of sleep was worth watching what God did for our church this week, we were able to cook, and feed over 10,000 meals ANNNNDDDD, there was a record number of people give their life to Christ!!! Praise God! I actually got the pleasure of talking to a couple of the people who decided to change their life and I can not even tell you how cool that was! (I know I'm using a lot of exclamations, which is normal, but this time it is totally appropriate, we can never be too excited about watching God do miracles!)
As I reflect on Easter and the meaning, it kinda makes me feel a little dumb. I know that sounds weird, but the truth is it makes me feel real dumb. First I feel dumb for ever feeling like since I came to Christ later in life that I wasn't as good as people who were raised in church...that actually sounds more ridiculous now that I have actually typed it out. But, honestly, I have some severe insecurity over my faith sometimes and not being as "smart" as others and not knowing every story in the bible, or being able to quote every scripture (and in the light of honesty, sometimes I actually have to flip through the pages discretely to find the book I'm looking for...don't tell anyone). However during this weekend, I was sweetly reminded that when I was saved and asked Jesus into my heart that I was a new creation in Christ. I was, am, and always will be learning and growing and seeking. As I watched people make decisions for Christ, I watched a boulder lift off their shoulders, I was hit with the love of Christ who showed me the story of the sacrifice, the blood and the price that was paid to wash us clean of our yesterday and make us new today. Sometimes I allow the enemy to smack me right in the gut with what hurts the most, and that is what makes me feel the dumbest. God excepted me right where I was, He has never forced me, never made me feel guilty, nor as He ever made me feel dumb. Most importantly, He loves me just as I am!
So for my second, wow I feel like a dummy, revelation. Since God has excepted me just as I am, I need to except him just as He is, which is perfect, and all knowing. Yeah kinda hard to argue that, right. Well if you know me, you know that, well, ugh your going to make me say it aren't you...I will argue with a brick wall to get my way...stop hounding me OK, I said it. I realized that I have been trying to tell God what would be a cool story for my life. I have had all the answers and have been telling Him the way it should go. Like, "OK, God, listen you gave me this job, now lets top it off with me getting pregnant. I can see it now, you would be a hero!" I have worked out the story and explained to God that if he would do it my way, it would make the story awesome. Yeah, you see why I feel dumb? I keep trying to tell Him how big he could be, instead of just taking in how big is already is. I now realize that while we don't know Gods plan for our lives, he is always in control. He has counted my tears before be I cried them, he has not only counted the hairs on my head, but has also counted the hairs on my child's head. His plan and timing is perfect for not only my life, but the life of our one day child!
Thank you lord for you your promises!
Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.
http://bible.us/Ps100.4.NIV84
