Today is the day the Lord has made!

   This morning we had some news that could be well for lack of better terms discouraging.  So I started my day by laying in my bed, deciding how the rest of the day would go.  I made a decision this morning that I would not let the enemy win this one, that would push through the hurt and pain and feelings of wanting to lay in my floor for the rest of the day and cry about how sorry I felt for myself...which I wont lie, I have done. Instead I decided to raise my hands and praise Him for the things I had, not beg for the things I didn't have.   

  As I lay in bed and listened to Kari Jobe "You are for me"  I realized that God doesn't do things TO us, he does things FOR us.  We live in a fallen world where things happen that aren't of God, we don't understand them or like them.  Cancer, Infertility, Murders, etc...but to me those are the moments, that we must stand up for what we know and that is that He is a big God and though things happen, that we don't like, or want, it isn't God doing it to us.  In our case, I know that God is not causing our baby issues, he wants to and will give me the desires of my heart.  The word says Worship the Lord your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span. Exodus 23:25-26   but what is doesn't say is that every women will get exactly what she wants when she wants (which...sometimes OK all the time I wish was in there...and trust me I have read that over and over hoping it will one day appear, obviously it hasn't)

  The truth is that I know there is a plan that to bluntly put is not for me to know, it is for me to trust.  So for today I choose to trust, and not figure out, or be in the know.  The more  Travis and I choose to dwell on the past, the bad, the things we have done just puts the enemy in a spot he loves, control of our thoughts....and this is something I refuse to do!!

  Through the hard times and the good times we must all choose to believe that God is still God and that is forever unchanged,  which is something that is just completely up to us.  It is never forced on us, nor does or should it be a source of guilt, God lets us make our own decisions and we must choose to believe that He loves us and what the word says are promises to us.  Why that is sometimes so hard to do, I don't know, why do I sometimes question or worry, baffles me, because in my heart and every ounce of my being I know He is there, I know he will never leave me or forsake me.  I know he has written promises on my heart and they will be fulfilled! 

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

Thank you all for your prayers and continuing to believe with us that this will happen!!  I've never been a quitter and don't intend to start now!