A letter from your Dad

To my beloved children,

Though I have yet to see your beautiful faces with my own eyes or hold you in my arms, I wanted you to know how much I have loved you and prayed for you every day for as long as I can remember. I know that although your mother and I have longed to have you with us, we both know that God has a plan for each of you and has already touched each of your lives with His love and that He will give you to us when the time is right. We take heart in this but at the same time we both have moments where we cannot help but be overwhelmed by a deep desire to already know each of you and see you every day. I find myself daydreaming about you, what you will look like, whose personality you will have more of (Heaven help me if all of you have your mother’s!), if you will you share my joy of sports or outdoors, about hearing your laughter filling our home, hunting or going to ball games with my son, walking my girl down the aisle, how I get to watch you all grow up to be mothers and fathers of your own one day. And most importantly how the Lord will one day use you for his kingdom. I cannot wait to see how each of you develops your own unique gifts and talents and how each of you will touch the people around you. I also pray that I never let a day go by that I don’t let any of you know how much I love and treasure you. That you never have any doubt that your father cares for you and loves you with all his heart. I know I will have my moments of frustration that I will say or do things that I instantly regret, but please know it will never be my intention to hurt you. I vow to protect you, to clothe you, feed you and soothe you when you are sad or sick. Most importantly, I promise to set the example of what a Godly husband and father should be. This I promise you all. Until all of this transpires, I will continue to wait patiently for you to explode suddenly into our lives and completely turn our world upside. I can’t wait for the sleepless nights, the dirty diapers and of course the daily messes made around the house (sorry you got an OCD neat freak dad). I can’t wait for the muddy feet, scraped knees, the yelling at you for picking on your siblings, Christmas morning chaos, seeing you harvest your first deer, making you do your homework, conversations around the dinner table, Sunday mornings scrambling to make it to church on time, shooting hoops or playing catch with you, holding your hand when a boy breaks your heart at school, Baptisms, shopping for dresses, teaching you to read, sharing our love for animals, watching you serve in youth groups, birthday parties, Easter egg hunts, food courts and mall walking with the girls, practices, games, Texans games we go home hoarse from, graduations, homecomings, proms, and weddings. You are all so loved, more than you can know, and before you have even arrived. You are the treasures of my heart. I believe that God delayed your arrival because he saw your parents in need of preparation for you. To be the best parents we could be so that you grow up in home that fills you with a love and a desire for Jesus, in a home that inspires you to go out into the world and do good for His kingdom. The changes He has made in our lives the last few years are beyond anything we could ever have dreamt. I know that the time is coming soon when I get to meet you because of the things He has put in place… but until then, know that your father loves you so very much. See you all very soon!!!

Love,

Your father – Travis

Easter, March 31, 2013

A letter to my Little Promises

HE IS RISEN!!  Easter Sunday is one of my favorite days of the entire year.  I love to focus on the love of Jesus and just stand in awe as we worship our Lord and Savior.  I love to read the stories of the crucifixion and just reflect on the amazing, powerful, ever present love that our God, our creator had for us.  Today as I reflected on the meaning of the day, and thought about the fact that Jesus died for my sins, that he loved us so much that He sent His only son to die a gruesome death, for me who is very imperfect, got me thinking about the love I will have for my children.  It has been on my heart to write my babies a letter and today just seems like the perfect day to do it.  So bare with me, and don't worry I haven't gone off the deep end...yet...its just been something on my heart to write.  I understand if you think this is weird and don't want to read it.

My little promises,

  As I sit here on the night before it turns 3 years to the day that we have been praying for you, I want to write you a letter to tell you a few things.  I know you might already think this is weird, but as you may have guessed your Mom is not exactly normal.  And jokes on you, you can't do anything about it, lol (laugh out loud, in case you totally don't know that means in 18 years.)  We do not know if you will be a Nash Brooks, or a Sadie Rae, or both.  We do not know, nor do we care, we just want you!

   First, I start by telling you that I have loved you from the moment you became a glimmer of hope in my heart,  but no matter how much we love you,  we know that you are not ours but Gods. We are thankful that we will have the privilege to be your parents and have already prayed A LOT for you.  I have prayed for you to be happy, healthy, funny, humble,  but mostly kind hearted.  I have prayed for you to have your daddy's eyes, lips,curly blonde hair, and of course my ears (you're welcome, I know you saw Dad's high school pictures) don't worry I also prayed you wouldn't have my nose.   I have prayed that you be a dog lover, as well as have compassion and a love for all animals.  But, mostly I have asked God to give you a heart for people, one like your Dad, who loves everyone and can find the good in all people, that you have empathy and annoying levels of positivity.  I prayed that you will find the humor and laughter in all situations, but that you can also be a shoulder for your friends to lean on.  I have prayed that you are giving, giving of time, possessions, and whatever else you are called to give.  I have prayed so much more for you, but if I wrote it all down you would be like "OK, I get it."

  Second, as much as I have prayed for you, I have prayed for us as parents.  I want to tell you that I am sorry for any mistakes, short comings, and mess ups.  I know that we are not perfect, and I have never expected to go into this parenting thing, thinking I knew what I was doing.  I have prayed that God will guide us on how to love you, how to discipline you, and how to have grace when you have pushed me to my limits.  I have prayed that as your parents we will know how to be, well, your parents.  I pray that you will never know anything from us but the feeling of love, even when sometimes you think we are being mean.  I pray that when you are puking down the hall way, I can remember these times of waiting for you and hug you a little tighter (and that God will keep my gag reflex in check, at least in front of you.)   I also want you to know that I will try my hardest to make you special heart shaped cupcakes, and home made favors for your birthdays, but to be honest in reality it may be a little debbie, and a store bought favors.

   I pray that as your parents, we will always put our marriage above you.  That it will always be one of love and respect for each other, so that through our relationships with God and each other along with His guidance we can teach you what a happy Godly marriage looks like. 

 Third,  I want you to know that there will be times we butt heads, that I am having a bad day, or that Dad or myself may just miss the mark, but that no matter what the situation we will be seeking God to know our next step.  I want you to know that you will not get every pair of tennis shoes you want, or every new electronic, but that we will provide exactly what you need, you may feel like you are dying, but you will not.  I also want you to know that when that kid at school hurts your feelings, or does something you don't like I will be your shoulder to cry on, but I will not take care of your battles, I will teach to be strong and independent, so that you can raise your family one day, even when that means it is hard to watch you cry.  I will help you with your homework, but I will not give you the answers.  I will push you on the swing, but when you get big enough you will have to learn to kick your own legs.  During all these times you thought I was being mean and not helping, something you won't have known is it will be harder for me to watch then do it for you, but I had to teach you to be the man or woman God created you to be.  I will always be there to talk, but I will always ask you if you talked with God first. 

  Nash and Sadie, we do not know you, nor do we know when we will know you, but what we do know is that God knows you, and we rest in that comfort.  We know that you will be perfect in Gods eyes as well as ours, we love you and are thankful for the privilege of being your parents.  No matter how old you get you will always be our little promises!

Love you to the moon and back,

Mom

Hebrews 11:11