The cheese to my macaroni

So with the ever annoying Valentines approaching, and with the new series "Lasting Love" we are doing with our youth group at church, it really got me thinking (yea that can be scary)! I realized that I have written this blog from the middle of our struggle with our infertility and never really explained any back story about Travis and I. So, choose now if you would like to continue reading, because this could hit the top of the cheese ball scale!

*CHEESE-O-METER STARTS NOW!* So, since I plan on one day printing this blog into a little book (like totally one from fed-ex or something, don't go thinking I think I'm cool enough to actually print a book)to one day give my kids...I know that seems odd, but I think it would be cool for them to see how they were actually loved so much before they even were...or is that really too weird, be honest, no wait don't. GEEZ KAYLA BACK ON TRACK!

ANYWAYS, I have decided to start this from the beginning. Now from the top (deep breath in) Travis and I don't have one of those sweet stories that I so often hear of how they met their significant other. We have a unique story. We actually went to school together, by school I mean elementary to high school. But me being the super popular and awesome at everything I touched, kid I was way cooler then him and we were not friends (this is true, do not listen if he tells you otherwise..have I ever lied to you). It wasn't that we didn't know each other we were just not friends, nor did we even probably speak 2 whole sentences to each other. It is possible it was because we looked like this:

(Apparently we didn't get the memo, that said just because we were being photographed by the same photographer we didn't need to look just alike...embarrassing) And yes, we still want to reproduce, knowing this could be the outcome.

So any who, we were a grade apart (he was older, I'm not a cradle robber) and we both graduated (though you can't always tell with my grammar mistakes),  we went on our happy lives never thinking of the other ever again. Until 8 years later, around the time I lived in Austin and he lived in Houston. Y'all remember myspace? Of course you do, its not like we are 10 years in the future. Well one day, I got a random message from Travis saying that he thought something I said was funny, I remember thinking, "whoa, that's a blast from the past", stalked his pictures (again with the honesty thing...stop judging you so do that too), and went on about my day never thinking a thing about it. Randomly, about 3 weeks later we ended up meeting at a birthday party, ugh, we met at a bar, OK, geez stop pressuring me, we met a birthday party at a bar. (My entire life I said "I would NEVER EVER, marry someone I met at a bar *moral of the story, never say never*)

 After we met we had a long distance relationship, all of which we talked about marriage, like I'm not kidding we met in November and talked about getting married in January not actually getting married, just we knew we would get married...you probably knew that...I say when you know, you know, and we knew! Since we had both come out of relationships, that were, well obviously not meant to be, we decided that the smart thing to do was to wait a year, then make a commitment to each other before we picked up one of our lives and moved it to a different town. So after digging in and stinking to our guns a few months of dating, I came home one weekend and went back to Austin with a ring on my finger!! (that is also a good story)

I remember thinking that we were going to live happily ever after, in our house with a picket fence and 3 kids running around (2 boys and a girl of course), and I would bake apple pies all day. OK, OK, honestly I never thought any of that, except the kids part. I did, however, think we would have kids, and I did think we would live in this bubble where we were on a honey moon 24/7. (you can laugh at my ignorance now) I quickly learned that, with that ring on my finger I didn't get my fantasy of a husband that twirls me around the kitchen telling me how beautiful I am. I didn't get my fantasy of the husband telling me "honey, that's the mans job, let me take care of that" and what I also didn't get was the hallmark commercial life that made me think that every kiss begins with Kay, and that my husband would come home with roses after every business trip just because he missed me. What I did get was real life. Real bill paying, arguing over whats on TV, muttering under your breath how annoying the other is, cover stealing, regular life.

 So I know this sounds like I'm complaining, but keep reading, it gets better!

Back to the Valentines thing coming up, I started thinking about my real life and how incredibly blessed I am to be in the exact moment I'm in right now. It got me thinking about this man that I call my husband and so often take for granted. You may have guessed that I am not exactly the easiest person to live with. Not because I am mean and demand things my way...all the time. More because, I'm goofy, I'm messy, my mind can't stick to one project at home, I am constantly stressing over trivial things,  I cry a lot, get my feelings hurt a lot,  I can be incredibly lazy, I like to tell him what to do and well, I just really hate laundry. I have a temper and I sometimes like to throw things to make a point. I also can be, in the words of my good friend Mr. Adam Lotts, just a down right "crap bag".  Don't get me wrong Travis can be all of these things also, most people think Travis is the nicest guy they ever met, and never has a temper, and blah, blah, blah, lol. Which he most certainly is those things, but, we all have our down falls. However with Travis, his good, out weighs his bad (obviously). He is the most compassionate, funny, loving, kind hearted, gentle, animal loving (I once caught him trying to save a bird with tiny chest compressions...don't tell him I told you that), God loving, leader of my house hold, amazing man I know. He laughs to much and to hard at jokes sometimes, he thinks he is funnier then he is, and he loves me even with my flaws. The thing I learned about real life is, it is not perfect. We fight, boy do we sometimes fight. I never knew I could love someone so hard headed, that will argue a point so much, even if we are saying the same thing just worded differently. He will fight to win, just to make me say the way he said it was better. I also never knew I could love someone so much, while simultaneously wanting to throw things at him...like a shoe or breakfast burrito...at his head...that I took off my foot/was eating because it was the only thing I had (that darn honesty thing again). I never knew that I could love someone to the point of my heart aching, when they are hurting. I never knew I could think that the things that I hated about other guys would be so cute on him, or that the things I thought were so cute on him, would end up driving me nuts. I never honestly never knew that I could love someone this deeply and this much, who also sometimes makes me want to pull my hair out.

But what I really never knew was that having an infertility problem, would be in our future.  And, I also would have never guessed that it would make us a stronger couple with more love for each other then we could imagine. For that I am truly thankful, I honestly am. You see I think that this issue can go either way with couples. I think that it could easily break you, I can see how as much as a man wants to, he doesn't understand, and as much as I want to understand I don't really know how he hides his emotions. With us, I quickly realized that the man I married hides his emotions so that I have no fear, so I can cry when I want and know that he is my strong rock. The man I married, loves me no matter what, and when I have silly fears that he will trade me in for a "working model" comes home and randomly tells me how much he loves me or sends me a random email that says "I hope you know how much you mean to me", easing fears he never knew I had. The man I married, makes me laugh, even in the moments I just really don't want to laugh. The man I married, is the leader of our house and a mighty man of God!

Great. Now, I'm a big ol' weepy ball of love. 

My husband amazes me daily with something new. I can't even imagine how awesome of father he will be. With my real life, I realized that, it was better then any fantasy or hall mark commercial I could have ever dreamed up, now I'm sure this post won't change our life and make us never fight again, because I assure you, God put two hard headed people together. However the great thing about us, is there in never a point where we even remotely think our fights would end us.  With my real life I am 100% secure, and he is better then any husband I could have ever molded myself. I got a dream that I didn't even know I wanted. Who else could put up with either of us, anyways.

I realize this was long, and off the charts of the cheese scale, but thanks for reading!