I turned on the my tube the other day and in one break there was a commercial, about a wife forgetting to buy her husband a gift and running out and buying a car, a dog running in with a ring around his neck to a women, erectile dysfunction (OK that's not relevant , but those do annoy/make me say kinda laugh...I'm just being honest) and kids counting down to Santa bringing her presents. These all make life seem so perfect, and sweet, and lead us into HUGE expectations of what we should be getting for presents. When in reality Christmas, a time that is supposed to be so joyous, and happy and awesome for the one and only reason, which is Christ birth, has become one giant annoying, everyone grumbling around, going broke time of year. I will be the first person to admit, I have totally gotten caught up in this, for example, the other day I prayed that God would lift some of my need to control all the gifts and what and when we bought them (yeah I'm a women who likes to control things, sue me) off of me and help me let go and put Him in control. Then I promptly called my husband and told/yelled at him what he had to do for a someones gift, and when it had to be done by...thank goodness for grace, because clearly this control thing is going to be something that I really need help with.
Well, in true form of being caught up in all of this, I have been super stressed this year about getting it all done when I had a real reality check Wednesday and some how the stress kinda melted away. I normally don't ever tell people things like this, because well I just feel like its not something to be broadcasted, but this year was different. Every year since Travis and I have been together we have adopted a family for Christmas. This year being no different, we decided to ask some friends if they would like to go in with us. Well, y'all know how in previous post I already told you how cool my friends were? I proved it once again, my friends Mr and Mrs. Bass had already taken a family on! So after a little discussion, The Fisher Family, Bass Family, and Nemec Family decided to all adopt this little family to give them an awesome Christmas! So after many emails, we all got together, bought these babies presents and planned a day for delivery. I have to be honest, some of this actually felt a little routine, and the true meaning of it hadn't actually hit me until we got there to deliver the gifts (this is a terrible thing to admit, I know, but I'm trying to be as honest as possible here).
We arrived knocked on the families door, and when we were greeted my heart did a flip flop. I saw 4 sweet little faces with smiles as big as Texas, 4 little faces that were so excited they could barely contain themselves. As if this didn't melt my heart enough I was standing in the living room talking to them, and I felt these little arms around my leg randomly giving me a hug. Y'all this was a hug like no other. It was the most genuine hug I think I may have ever received. It was a 5 year old who was truly grateful for the presents "Santa's Elves" brought her. It was honest. It was thoughtful. Most importantly it was, love, which was the only way her little 5 year old self knew how to show what she was feeling. We stayed and played with the kids for a little bit and loved on this little family and just took in the excitement that they were feeling. It was infectious, it put a smile on all of our faces (especially when the little girls kept wanting us to pass them back and forth, and before we left had learned our names), we just wanted to be in the moment forever. However as we all know moments cant last forever and we have to leave and go back to our lives and get back to "normal". But for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about this family and the love that they had not only for one another, but for us, complete strangers, people they will probably never see again.
(This is a really long post, so I give you permission to stop reading now if you want)
I really wish I could finish this and tell you how the rest of the week was just one big sweet moment, and how I really learned the true meaning of Christmas and how changed I was. Except here is the real story:
So once we got off of our high for delivering gifts, I went to bed and woke up in a very undream-like normal day, it was like all the magic disappeared and I had to continue to prepare for Christmas with my family. Of course, just like I promised I wouldn't do, I couldn't help letting myself get a little stressed about it all, because in true Kayla fashion, I decided I needed to do it all, and make it all (I am not crafty AT ALL, so my talents are more in my cooking, I always try to make up for my uncraftyness by cooking a billion things). So I made my list of last minute gifts to buy, my list of everything I felt I needed to cook and bake and tried to plan out my time to get it all done. Well instead of making this a fun time where I could really focus on the meaning of Christmas and this time with my family, I found myself getting very ungrateful and unhappy. I grumbled about doing it all, and not having time to get it all done. I stomped around like a child who just got her candy taken from her, because I had SSOOO much to do and no time to get it all done, and oh poor me. So as I was being a big ole baby, Travis was so trying to cheer me up and it just annoyed me for some reason. Unfortunately, it wasn't until I snapped, well, no reason at all, then Travis snapped and we just had a few minutes of pointless screaming and being big ole babies (I'm grown up enough to admit, I did that) that I was slammed back into the reality of the moment. Where had that joy gone on Wednesday? Where had those feelings of love and hope and happiness go? Why couldn't I remember the scripture I had recited to myself all week Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred. Proverbs 15:17? It took me and my husband getting into a full fledged argument on Christmas Eve to bring me back to reality (I wish I could tell a different story, but hey sometimes the truth is just not that fun). The reality that this was not about how well I could cook, how much money we could spend, or anything other then the birth of our Lord and Savior. This was a time that we could get together with the people that we loved the most, and just celebrate the lives we have because we have a Father who loves us so much that He sent His only son to die for our sins and give us eternal life. Once that hit me I changed my tune! I now sit here and reflect on the the past few days and think about what an awesome family and life I have, I remember the little family about how we were able to bless them with a Christmas that they would not have been able to have and how this season is so easy to just get lost in. Besides the fact that while at church my dog ate an entire batch of Jalapeno Sausage Cups that were left cooling on the kitchen counter, and that my grandmother told me that she didn't like what I had done with my hair (at least she didn't tell me this year that marriage had agreed with me, but that I had gained weight in the right places) and besides that fact that sometimes my family closely resembles the The Griswold's, minus the squirrel in the tree, I have a fantastic, wonderful, filled with more love then one deserves family! I have a God that loves us so much He gave His only son! I am beyond blessed and cant imagine any other life then the one I have been given!
Jesus truly is the reason for the season and I pray that if I ever start to forget this, I get a jolt back into reality!
Here are just a few of my blessings, a couple Christmas pics of some of my neices and nephews!
I love you!
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